Today is George Washington ‘s birthday. He was an honest, principled patriot. He is one of my personal heroes for his courage in the face of seeming defeat. Scholars dubbed him “America’s indispensable man” during the founding of our nation for his sterling character and singular leadership.
As Abraham Lincoln said, “Washington is the mightiest name on earth. . . To add brightness to the sun or glory to the name of Washington is alike impossible. Let none attempt it. In solemn awe pronounce the name, and in its naked deathless splendor leave it shining on. ”
We’ve all heard the story about George and the cherry tree. Yet few of us know that George Washington wrote a book called Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation when he was just 14.
The original Rules, listing more than 100 maxims, were compiled by 16th-century Jesuit priests for the proper instruction of young French noblemen. George Washington, who keenly felt his lack of social training, copied and studied the rules of most use to him. (See John E. Ferling’s The First of Men: A Life of George Washington, University of Tennessee Press, Knoxville, 1988, p. 6)
I don’t know if he dreamed about being president of a fledgling country when he was barely a teenager. What I do know is that he clearly believed in keeping alive the best affections of the heart. He believed in the obligation of moral virtues and the practice of perfect self-control. I also know that good manners alone do not an effective president make. But they sure do add to one’s effectiveness.
Washington’s maxims have survived because they are timeless. They point out the importance of respecting one another, good grooming, and table manners. They point up the inherent value of a human being, regardless of rank or privilege. Clearly, Washington knew that life is smoother,happier and more useful when we know how we are expected to behave and thus, do the right thing. He knew that good manners cloak us softly without drawing attention. Just as today, he knew that we only really notice manners when they are bad. Here is a sampling:
Every action in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present.
Keep your nails clean and short, also your hands and teeth clean, yet without showing any great concern for them.
Show not yourself glad at the misfortune of another, though he were your enemy.
When you see a crime punished, you may be inwardly pleased, but always show pity to the suffering offender.
Let your discourse with men of business be short and comprehensive.
In visiting the sick, do not presently play the physician if you be not knowing therein.
In writing or speaking, give every person his due title according to his degree and the custom of the place.
When a man does all he can though it succeeds not well blame not him that did it.
When you reprove another be unblameable yourself, for example is more prevalent than precepts.
Use no reproachful language against anyone; neither curse nor revile.
Be not hasty to believe flying reports to the disparagement of any.
Play not the peacock, looking everywhere about you, to see if you be well decked, if your shoes fit well, if your stockings sit neatly, and clothes handsomely.
Associate yourself with men of good quality, if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company.
A man ought not to value himself of his achievements or rare qualities of wit, much less of his riches, virtue or kindred.
Speak not injurious words, neither in jest or earnest; scoff at none although they give occasion.
Think before you speak.
Undertake not what you cannot perform, but be careful to keep your promise.
Speak not evil of the absent, for it is unjust.
When you speak of God or his attributes, let it be seriously and with reverence. Honour and obey your natural parents although they be poor.
Labour to keep alive in your breast that little celestial fire called conscience.
It is easy to see that, in writing about manners, I ride on the shoulders of this extraordinary individual who came before me. Last year I visited Mount Vernon, George Washington ‘s home, and the magnitude of his contributions our lives today hit me square on. Most of us, myself included, know all too little about those who came before us. What a shame.